Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
