She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
