Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
