john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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