I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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