White coat. Heels.
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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