You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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