fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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