Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
