made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
