And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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