So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
