You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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