you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
