I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
