p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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