I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
