i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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