i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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