Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
