so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
