Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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