I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
