Pregnant stripper...not hot.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
