Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i think im in europe. pls send help
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
