Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
