I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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