I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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