Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
