i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
