You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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