ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
