Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
