i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
