The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
