You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
