We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Someone shit on the floor
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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