while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
