Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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