He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
