Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
