the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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