JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
