he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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