i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
