I hate all girls vehemently.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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