wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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