Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
