he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
