He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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